WEEK 2 RECAP

Hey guys, sorry for the lack of recap last week. I was having internet issues. Everything is in working order now, you can expect a weekly recap every Wednesday/Thursday-ish

WOODVILLE PECKERS

The reigning champion has shot out of the cannon of 2016 to a 2-0 start, having rolled over LowerEastLeviathans and last year’s runner up Rookie Mistake. Even without keeping last year’s fantasy darling, David Johnson, Schmidt Schmidt is still blowing teams out by 20 on a weekly basis.

“Mamma, there goes that man!”

Week 3 brings in familiar foe Green’N’Yello, led by a struggling Aaron Rodgers who can’t seem to get his shit together.

 

THE 11TH

Andrew’s fall of 2016 couldn’t get much better. His beloved Nebraska Corn Huskers are currently ranked 20th in the country after taking care of Oregon last weekend. He’s a few weeks away from marrying the love of his life, and for his fantasy team is undefeated at 2-0.  Does it get any better?

You can make the argument that 2 wins is a fluke, but I wouldn’t say that regarding the 11th’s early season success. Factor in that this success has come without the services of 1st round pick, Rob Gronkowski, and stud running back, Jamaal Charles.

Andrew will look to continue to build on his quick start against league newcomer, Power Bottoms.

 

DAMNYOUDREWBREES

Abby has a really solid start to the 2016 season after mercilessly beating PowerBottoms by nearly 30 points. The biggest steal in league history, David Johnson, was his usual self, scoring 19 points, and Drew Brees did his best Lord and Savior impression, erupting for 31 points against Oakland. My goodness.

Week 2 was a different story as Abby squared up against the Lincoln Llamas. What should have been an easy win turned into stomach churning disappointment.

Both David Johnson and Drew Brees turned in mortal performances and dispite Eric Decker’s(Minnesota’s finest) best efforts, DamnYouDrewBrees didn’t have enough to overcome the new look Llamas of Lincoln.

Maybe next week, Abby

 

TAKEITTOTHELIMIT

Raise your hand if you had The 11th taking down Mike this week. Yeah, me neither. Week two was a black eye on the face of perennial contender, TakeItToTheLimit. Woof. Thanks for nothing, Danny Woodhead, Jordan Reed, and Golden Tate. I was under the impression that with Calvin Johnson out of the picture, this was going to be the Golden Tate show. Matthew Stafford certainly throws the ball enough. The Lions WRs are basically a collection of castoffs from the rest of the league. I kinda like it? How can you not be a fan of Anquon Boldin?

Anyways, if Mike drops to 1-2 at the hands of the Lincoln Llamas he’ll probably never hear the end of it.

 

LINCOLN LLAMAS

The Lincoln Llamas have spent the last half decade doing their best Cleveland Browns impression. Just really really not very good at all. However, the winds might be changing in Lincoln. After an impression victory over DamnYouDrewBrees, Becky is poised to shed her reputation as league bottom feeder and rise like a phoenix into the fantasy football post season.

Are the Lincoln Llamas for real or was weak 2 a fluke?

 

LOWEREASTLEVIATHANS

Jordan got off to a great start in 2016, amassing 123 points. Unfortunately those points weren’t enough to keep up with Schmidt Schmidt and the Woodville Peckers who trounced Jordan for 144 points.

Week 2 was a poor showing for the LowerEastLeviathans as Jordan was only able to muster up 83 points. Fortunately, those 83 points were scored against Favre Dolla Footlong and were enough to secure the victory. Classic Vosters.

Week 3 should be an interesting matchup for the LowerEastLeviathans as they face off against the sporatic Dundas Blues. Good luck, dude.

 

DUNDAS BLUES

The ever sporadic, slow starting Dundas Blues were at it again in week 2. Coming off an embarrassing loss to Favre Dolla Footlong in week 1, EVP came back with a 38 point victory over Green’N’Yello. Sorry, Cath. Fielding, on paper, one of the league’s strongest teams, it appears the Dundas Blues will struggle with consistency for the 800th year in a row. Like clockwork.

Fantasy studs like Odell Beckham, Dez Bryant, and Todd Gurley continue to dodge the endzone like:

george-w

While 11th year dinosaur Larry Fitzgerald continues to shoulder the load. If EVP’s team can ever hit on all cylinders, the league championship is a realistic possibility. Only time will tell.

 

GREEN’N’YELLO

Similar to the last few years, Cathy has hitched her wagon to Aaron Rodger’s star. As has been the case with the 2016 Packers, Green’N’Yello has struggled to find their flow. Injuries have taken their toll already in this young season as Doug Martin will be out for an extended period of time, and Devonte Parker has been nagged by a hamstring injury since the beginning of training camp.

(Speaking of hamstring injuries, Bucks star guard Khris Middleton will be out for 6 god damn months after tearing his hamstring. Training camp doesn’t open for another 2 weeks. UUUUGHH!!)

Green’N’Yello faces off against league juggernaut Woodville Peckers in week 3. Good luck, Kitty Kitty Kitty Cath

 

POWER BOTTOMS

Following a snap, panic induced decision to cut ties with all things Minnesota Vikings, Brad took a beating in week 1. The production of waived WR Stefon Diggs was sorely missing. Week 2 was a different story as Power Bottoms was able to secure a victory on the back of Matt Forte who owned the Buffalo Bills for 28.90 points. Greg Olsen was the icing on the cake with 18.20 points in a win over Puddlemere United.

Man, can you imagine if this team still had Diggs, Amari Cooper, and Kyle Rudolph?? Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude

Brad faces off against undefeated The 11th in week 3.

 

FAVRE DOLLA FOOTLONG

The league’s favorite team Favre Dolla Footlong is off to a very Voster’s start, ranking 10th in the league. Yeah, you can make the argument that its only week 2, and 10 of the 12 teams all have the same record, but still. Favre Dolla Footlong got by EVP in week thanks to an ill advised screen pass to Tod Gurley that resulted in a loss of 5 yards. Favre Dolla Footlong went on to win by .5. All because Case Keenum can’t throw down the field and is reliant on passes to the outside. Why the fuck are they using a power back in the passing game anyway?

Vosters went on to score a whole 74 points in week 2 against LowerEastLeviathans to drop to 1-1. I’m not even bothering to do the math, but I’m 80% sure Favre Dolla Footlong has the lowest point average in the league. Fuckin Tod Fuckin Gurley. The #3 ranked player in 2016 fantasy football cant get more than 50 yards? He’s on the block if anybody is interested.

Vosters will face RookieMistake in week 3

 

ROOKIEMISTAKE

Sam enjoyed a successful campaign in 2015, reaching the post season and ultimately losing the championship game. 2016 has been a stuggle thus far as RookieMistake has limped out to an 0-2 start.

Rookie Mistake has the roster to be a contender in this league, led by old ass Carson Palmer, and prolific WR AJ Green. If Sam can manage to win a couple of games and have Le’Veon Bell back for week 5, she will be in great shape for the rest of the season. However, if she were to start out 0-4, that’s quite a big hole to dig out of.

Rookie Mistake faces Vosters and Favre Dolla Footlong in week 3. Should be an easy W

PUDDLEMERE UNITED

I can’t believe Robyn is the worst ranked team in the league. Yes, it’s only week 2, but still. Maybe I am over rating Puddlemere United, but I always felt like they were one of the more competitive teams in the league, no?

Puddlemere United faces the headache of trying to replace Adrian Peterson. Peterson was having a slow start to the year, but he is one of a few guys you don’t have to think about starting in this league. What a perfect time to slide Ameer Abdulah into the starting lineup annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd then he goes on IR. FOZZY WHITTAKER?!

Robyn looks to get that first victory in week 3 vs DamnYouDrewBrees

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